Ellas: How Female Leadership Saves Women Lives
This summer, I had one of the most impactful experiences of my life and was able to join a local NGO named MUSADE in San Ramón, Costa Rica. An NGO that stretches out its arm towards victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse, but also to every other person who craves warm words and change in their lives. Sometimes, growing up, you search for that purpose in life. What are we here for? Is it a transcendent and godlike figure that created us and pushed us into the world with a big plan? Or is it millions of coincidences clashing against each other and giving birth to us? What is your impact, your little piece that you want to leave behind when you turn back from this immense world? I think I found mine this summer.
Before the start of my internship, I had the chance to get to know the country better by seeing its unique flora and fauna, listening to locals, and savoring its culture. The slogan “Pura Vida,” which every Costa Rican person, known as “Tica” and “Tico,” breathes, fascinated me from the very beginning. It stands for a slow life, for enjoying the little wonders of this world and letting yourself fall into genuine conversations and naked humanity, even if this world sometimes tries to devour you. Engraved in my skin with black ink, I will always carry its spirit with me. However, I also understood that people’s realities differ so much from the ones I was used to. Breathing that pure life is sometimes hard when the air is contaminated with hatred, selfishness, and narcissism.
Because underneath the beauty of this country, I also witnessed its screaming agony. I heard stories that filled up all my pores. Words that ripped apart my skin and injected human cruelty underneath. During those weeks, I looked into many numb eyes and saw a reflection of the pain that we humans can create in others.
First Impressions of My Internship
On my first internship day, I entered the building with a bleached sign that said “MUSADE”. The interior was dark; the paint on the building was starting to come off, and the obvious years were hanging in the air. Yet this house transmitted a vibrant and wise energy, almost as if an elderly person was whispering a secret to you. The house felt like a testimony. The walls echoed years of female suffering and rage. The ground was soaked by tears and worn down by women’s little steps entering this house. Women who came with trembling fingers and quiet voices. But also women whose eyes brightened when they got to talk about their wild dreams. Those that had been buried for a long time, whose ashes society one day decided to burn. And here they were talking about how they always wanted to study, become teachers, travel, and suddenly these incredible women were reborn. They rose like a phoenix with the brightest smile and the biggest flame in their eyes. Women who have carried the whole world on their shoulders and suddenly were able to float in laughter and inspiration. For a month, I could witness the metamorphosis of these women, only one part of the big transformation they overcame.
Sisterhood Heals Us
These past weeks not only showed me how every woman carries a whole world in herself but also how nourishing it can be to have a female community, to have sisters that hold your hand and wipe away your tears. I’ve always appreciated sisterhood between women, how we are able to giggle into the dark nights, show our love for each other boldly, and transform ourselves into whatever we desire to be with glitter and blush. I think that when women come together, a symbiosis of trust, loyalty, and love surrounds us and protects us for a while from this hungry world that tries to suck on our hearts.
Growing up as a woman, you often feel lost. You are trapped in this body that is constantly exposed to the world- everyone can comment on it, like it, use it, and eventually throw it away. You develop this strange distance and disconnect from it by watching yourself from the corner. Maybe it is a mechanism of self-protection, but at one point you offer yourself to the world; you somehow prostitute your soul. Maybe to feel seen, feel worth it, or simply satisfy desires.
Therefore, having a support system in your life where you can speak out loud and find a like-minded community is crucial. This building offered exactly that: a space where women could move their bodies along to the music of life, where they could embrace each other’s talents, nourish themselves with wisdom from others, and show their most vulnerable and authentic selves.
Even though the workers lacked financial support, they still managed to organize themselves, raise awareness about the immense injustices, and invite women to find themselves again. Every woman was welcome to help and bring her little spark to be part of the magic in the house. No matter if it was to organize Bingos, sell their own products at the NGO's local store, or help with cleaning, everyone could be part of this family and experience its loyalty.
Female Leadership is Crucial
Being surrounded by so many different women of all circumstances, ages, and shapes for four weeks made me question how different this institution would be if it were led by men. Yes, there were some men working at the NGO. Incredible people- therapists, volunteers, lawyers- taught me so much about the country’s mentality and injustices. Their shared conversations became a fountain of motivation and hydrated my heart.
But the fact that the leaders were female did change the whole dynamic and created this intimate space where every thought was being captured and hugged. It might be the deep understanding, the shared experiences, or the similar struggles, but it felt as if we were all looking through the same lenses at the world. Every word that came out of a woman’s mouth was savored by mine; their tears drowned my eyes. Every single one of their accomplishments made my heart applaud. None of us brought the same life, but somehow we recognized something of ourselves in other women. I still remember this one session at the group therapy on Thursdays. One woman had been coming for a couple of weeks now. The first time she joined the group, her dark eye bags showed the heaviness of this world; her gaze reflected the tiredness of a woman in this society. The experiences she shared made me question goodness in life. To this day, I ask myself how a man who gives himself the title of a husband can be the seed of aggression and represent the personification of cruelty.
But after every session, I would notice her a little more complete, and life would fill up the numbness of her gaze. The last day, she told us all that she was going to join a night school to learn to read and write- a dream she has always wanted to fulfill. The whole group had tears in their eyes. When she told us that, her eyes lit up, and she gave us a little insight into the young girl inside of her with dreams, colorful ideas, and a big hunger to live. The little girls we all carry within us and one day leave behind just because we are told to “grow up”. I think this woman healed all of our inner children, and the circle was filled with pure compassion and love.
One of the experiences I will always carry with me.
Personal Impact
Growing up, I always dreamed of helping others in the future, about using my privileged life to make others' lives easier. You always envision these huge acts with a strong impact. The bigger, the better. But one thing I realized during my weeks teaching some senior women dances, listening to testimonies, or going to neighboring towns to talk about the NGO's work is that it’s not always the big actions that matter- even though they are also crucial. Sometimes, it’s more about listening to past years, serving an abuelita a coffee or holding a woman’s hand when she has tears in her eyes.
This summer I found the purpose and magic in listening- devastating stories but also little wonders in life. These women and their different realities shaped my own, stretched it out, and left space for so many more lives.
One woman at the internship told me one day that she saw MUSADE as a human. That MUSADE, for her, is like a sister, a mother, a friend who would always be there for you. And I couldn’t agree with her more. MUSADE became a person, with her own character and soul. Maybe because of all the incredible women in her that made her who she is now: A house where every woman could reveal their inner girl. Where everyone could find her again, the sometimes naïve voice but also powerful one, filled with passion and big dreams. A screaming house for every girl and woman who can’t speak up.
